A couple of months ago, my dad asked me if I could start picking up one of his prescriptions for him. It's a particularly strong medication that is heavily regulated, which means that the doctor's office can't simply call it in to the pharmacy. Someone designated by my father needs to travel to his doctor's office, sign for the prescription, and take the form to the pharmacy to be filled. He had been doing this himself, but explained that the last time he went to the doctor's office, people were honking at him. I really don't want him driving anyway, and I'm all too happy to make a trip once a month to pick up his medicine for him if it keeps him and other motorists safe, so I told him that was no problem at all. I asked him to call me a few days before he ran out of medicine to give me some flexibility to take whatever time off work I would need to drive out to his doctor's office before they closed.
"Oh, they're open til 8 or 9 o'clock," he told me.
I was sure that wasn't right, but I didn't bother arguing. "When you call the doctor's office to have them get the prescription ready, make sure you ask what time they close and let me know for sure, okay?"
I didn't think much of this conversation again until my father called me about a month later to tell me he was running low on his medicine and he'd already called to have them prepare the next one. I asked what time they closed.
"It's not good news," he told me. "They close at 4." This, I'd been expecting.
"That's okay, I'll work it out. I'll pick it up either tomorrow or the next day. You have enough until then, right?" He had enough for five more days, so I was in pretty good shape. He has a bad habit of waiting until he's been out of something for several days before mentioning it to anyone.
The day I was going to pick up his medicine, I personally called the doctor's office to make sure they actually had a prescription ready for him. I was taking off work a couple of hours early, so I didn't want to get out there only to find out that he'd never called and I'd have to do it all again the next day. My boss is pretty great, but I think even her patience would start to wear thin if I had to take off early twice in a row for the same thing. Once I confirmed that the prescription would be ready to be picked up that afternoon, I asked what time they closed. Between 5:00 and 5:30, the receptionist told me. How he'd gotten 4PM out of that, I don't know, but it gave me a little more wiggle room, since I wasn't entirely sure how long it would take me to get there from work.
I arrived at 4:00, just in case they liked to cut out early if they didn't have any appointments at the end of the day. I picked up his written prescription without incident and was on my way to Walmart to get it filled when my phone rang. It was my dad. I had no idea what he wanted, but it might be important, so I answered, despite the fact that I was driving down a 55MPH highway with stoplights every so often. Did I mention that I drive a stick, and my dad knows this? Or that he alone seems unable to hear me if I use a Bluetooth, so I was forced to hold the phone to my head when I talked to him? Yeah.
"Where are you?"
"I just picked up your prescription and I'm on the way to get it filled."
"Oh, we hadn't heard from you and I was just making sure everything was okay."
I looked at the clock. It was about quarter after 4. Maybe he thinks I have magic powers?
"Everything's fine, I'll be there soon." I got ready to say goodbye and hang up.
"While you're out, would you mind picking us up something to eat?" Now, most people would probably not be filled with a sense of dread on hearing these words. Most people do not have my parents. Some of the biggest knock-down, drag-out fights in my household have begun with the words "what do we want to eat?" Still, maybe they'd discussed this before calling and already had an order ready. I could hope, right?
"Sure, what do you want me to pick up?"
"She says okay. What do you want?" I heard my dad ask my mom. This was going to take awhile. I waited patiently for several minutes while they argued amongst themselves about what they wanted to eat. They finally made a decision and told me what they wanted. He asked if I could remember it or if I needed to write it down. Because I was steering my manual-transmission car down a highway with stoplights while holding a phone and I only have so many arms to work with, I told him that I was sure I could remember it. Then my mom started to change her mind because she didn't think the place she'd chosen was close enough to where I was going.
"It's okay, really, I don't mind driving. I'll go wherever you guys want. Driving around doesn't hurt my feelings a bit." He relayed that message, and my mother seemed content enough. Once again, I prepared to end the conversation.
"Do you mind picking us up a couple of other things while you're at Walmart?"
I should have known this wouldn't be so easy.
"Sure, what do you need?"
"Your sister got us some banana nut bread last time she was here. It was really good, it was soft and moist, just the right texture..." His description went on for awhile while I half-listened. Then he added the next item on the shopping list. "Your mother wants something with lemon."
"Something with lemon?"
"Yeah, she's been craving lemon. You can get lemon cake, lemon pie, lemon streudel, lemon yogurt..." My father continued to list everything he'd ever heard of with lemon in it, and all I could think about was Bubba Blue and his shrimp. Shrimp stew, shrimp soup, shrimp salad.
"Banana nut bread and something with lemon. Got it. Anything else?"
"No, I think that's it." One more time, I was ready to end the conversation. One more time, he wasn't. "Have you used the credit card for anything lately?" About two years ago, my father gave me his credit card and insisted that I should use it to buy gas, food, or anything else within reason that I might want or need. It's his way of repaying me for helping him out with things. Although I really appreciate the gesture, I've used it a grand total of four times, and only because he hounds me and insists that I should use it more than I do.
"I bought gas on it a couple of weeks ago," I tell him. He proceeds to tell me how his credit card statement came in and it just says "purchases" with a dollar amount and doesn't say where the purchases were made, and he's concerned. I promise him that I'll take a look at his statement when I get to his house and figure it out. He continues, telling me about how all of his other credit cards list out each purchase on the statement and he doesn't understand why it doesn't this time. "I'm sure I'll figure it out. It's got to say something on there somewhere. It's probably just on another page or something."
I finally got off the phone, about twenty minutes after he called. I really don't like to talk on my phone while I'm driving without using a Bluetooth. I dropped off his prescription and went in search of this mysterious banana nut bread and "something with lemon." I wound up having to make another stop at the supermarket, which didn't bother me at all, but when I got to my parents' house, my mother wasn't happy that I'd made another stop. I really don't know what difference it makes. She wanted something with lemon, and I got her a lemon stolen. The credit card statement turned out to be itemized; my father just hadn't unfolded the statement.
Last but not least, before I left, my parents wanted to talk to me about buying a Kindle, something they'd been talking about doing for a couple of weeks. I had borrowed my friend's Kindle and brought it for them to look at. My mother decided that she wants to order one, but she wanted to wait a couple of months before buying it. I assumed it was a financial concern, since they just had their kitchen remodeled (a story for another entry). But no.
"I want to wait until it gets a little bit warmer. It's too cold right now."
It's too cold to order a Kindle? I asked about it. I made sure she realized that no one had to go anywhere. It was just a matter of placing an order and waiting for UPS to bring it a few days later. She didn't need to go outside to use it.
"I know, but it's too cold right now. I want to wait until it gets a little bit warmer."
That's logic for you.
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