Quake Mania

Yesterday I arrived at my parents' house to do their grocery shopping for the fortnight.  My dad wanted me to go over the list with them out loud this time.  I assume he messed something up last time and didn't hear the end of it from my mother, but that's all hearsay and conjecture. 

In going over the list, I came upon a line where he'd written down Quakes.  In case you're unfamiliar, Quakes are a type of bite-sized rice cakes made by Quaker Oats which come in various flavors like cheddar cheese, chocolate, etc.  They usually have me pick up 3-4 bags of them.  They were on sale the last time I went though, so I ended up buying 10 bags.  To me, this meant they probably still had some left.  All he had written down was "Quakes - Creme Brulee & Blueberry."  I questioned this, because I had previously been told that my mom didn't like the creme brulee flavor.  We discussed that point for a couple of minutes, then I asked how many I was supposed to get.  

My dad told me: "20." 

Naturally, I inquired about this.  "20?" I said.  "That's a lot of quakes."

"Your mother eats one a day," my dad said.  I didn't question it any further; I just wrote the number 20 next to the quakes on the list.

I completed my shopping trip, which actually was extremely annoying because they were out of so many things.  I think the important lesson I learned was that Monday is a lousy day to go grocery shopping.  I suppose that people rush out and buy everything on Sunday when the new sales hit, and the store doesn't get everything restocked yet by Monday.  

But I digress.  I got back to my parents' house and began to bring in the massive haul of groceries.  There were more bags than usual, thanks in large part to the 20 bags of Quakes.  As I did this, I noticed that my parents were talking amongst themselves.  I didn't really pay much attention to it, assuming that they were discussing their television schedule for the night or something similar.

I started unloading the groceries, and my dad turned his head on the couch toward me and asked me "You didn't buy 20 bags of Quakes, did you?"

My heart sank a little.  "Why yes, I did," I told him.

"Oh shoot," he replied.  Then he began muttering semi-coherently about needing me to go back out again.  The entire time, I was thinking to myself They can't possibly need any more Quakes, can they?!

As it turned out, when he told me to get 20 Quakes, he thought we were talking about yogurt.  He wanted 20 yogurts.  Which, incidentally, was already written on the list, so I had bought 20 yogurts.  He didn't think I did though.  He somehow got the impression that I had substituted Quakes for yogurt, because that was what he had done.  Therefore, he was about to send me to the store for more. 

Meanwhile, he has 20 bags of quakes.  

Filling all the shelves in his kitchen.

But this isn't the funny part yet.

No, the funny part came just a minute or two later, when my mother started carrying on.  "I told you!  I told you you said 20 Quakes and I knew that wasn't right!"

This was when I stopped unloading the groceries and walked into the living room with my hands on my hips.  "Mom!"  I think I probably sounded a little stern here.  "You were sitting right there and you heard the whole thing and you knew he was telling me to get the wrong thing, and you didn't say anything?!"

"He's the one who told you 20 quakes!"

"But you could've opened your mouth and said something!"

I threatened to bring all the Quakes out and throw them in her lap, while my dad threatened to make her eat nothing but Quakes for the next 3 days.  

This, of course, did nothing to dissuade my mother's contention that my father was the only one responsible for the extraneous Quakes.

Personally, I think she just wanted to see if I'd actually buy them.